The Beginner’s Guide to Self Love

spiritual growth May 22, 2020

You are Loved and You have Value!

Did you know that it is important to practice self-love and cultivate this attitude in your life? Self-love is a popular term tossed around today that would imply that you are being selfish and thinking only of yourself. I disagree.

“You have to love yourself more.” “Why don’t you love yourself?” “If you only loved yourself, this wouldn’t have happened to you.” “You can’t love another person until you love yourself first.” These are just a few of the self-love comments that I’ve heard.

I struggled with learning how to love myself. I thought that loving myself was that I had to be a doormat and “people please” for acceptance. Other’s opinions of me were more valuable than that of my own. This cycle of not knowing my true identity and that I am good and loved by God kept me in a state of depression and anxiety. What if they don’t like me? Will they come to my event? Is this outfit acceptable? It was a ridiculous cycle living in bondage and not the freedom to be who God called me to become.


Self-Love is a way of giving yourself grace and self-compassion. It is being able to relate to yourself and does not involve criticism and punishing yourself for every mistake. It is not something you get from a beauty make-over from buying a cute dress and heels. Or from that “budding relationship” with a new guy you’ve met that has swept you off your feet. It is more than a state of simply feeling good.

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To begin self-loving yourself means to start appreciating the unique person that you are. You are fearfully and wonderfully made in God’s image. It grows with actions that support your physical and spiritual growth. When we began to change our mindset and embrace our strengths as well as our weaknesses. We no longer believe we need to justify our actions to others and walk in new freedom.


  1. Become Mindful. When you have self-love, you are more aware of your thought-life and renew your mind with God’s word daily. You are mindful and act on God’s Word, rather than on what others want for them. Take time to calm your mind and just be still before God. “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
    Romans 12:2 NLT
  2. Practice Good Self-Care. You love yourself more and take care of your outward appearance as well as your inside. People high in self-love nourish themselves daily through healthy activities, exercise, and proper sleep. You accept that beauty cannot be defined. It is what you see is what you get. You don’t let models in magazines make you feel like your body isn’t perfect. Remember junk in ~ junk out. It took years to develop a healthier lifestyle and to care for my body. “Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself,” 1 Corinthians 6:19 NIV
  3. Practice Forgiving Yourself. We are all human and make mistakes We don’t have to hold on to things of the past. Acknowledge them, learn from them and move on. The truth is though when we let go of things that have happened to us it’s almost like a weight is lifted off our shoulders. We don’t have to carry that around with us anymore. We deserve better.“So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus” Romans 8:1 NLT Forgiving others is also important to our well-being. Forgiving others is actually a gift you can give yourself, and you are worth it.
  4. Stop Comparing. With Instagram and Facebook, it can become a vicious cycle of comparing yourself when looking at those news feeds. I would become upset when I viewed pictures of what was happening in their life. Why wasn’t I invited? Am I not good enough? What’s wrong with me? Why am I not part of the “in crowd”? We must remember that everyone’s path is unique. You are exactly where you are supposed to be right now. There is divine timing. It’s not a competition.
  5. Follow Your Heart. True love means believing in yourself and that you are worthy of your dreams and aspirations. Learning to love yourself means to let go of fear and self-doubt while tapping into your inner desires and trusting God to fulfill them. “The Lord will work out his plans for my life—for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever.  Don’t abandon me, for you made me.” Psalms 138:8 NLT


There is no need to apologize for who you are. Take the steps now and make a decision to love yourself; it’s not being selfish. At the end of the day, all that matters is did you walk in the love of Christ showing His love to others while loving yourself. Were you respectful, kind, gentle ~ you know did you show the fruit of the Spirit as found in Galatians 5:22-23?

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,  gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Galatians 5:22-23 (NLT)


Be patient but persistent. Self-love is ever-evolving. It’s something that needs to be practiced daily but can take a lifetime to master. So be kind and support yourself through the hard times. God loves you and so do I ~ You can be free to Love Yourself!

What will you do next to start loving yourself? Share your comments below.

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